


(there will only ever be) you

by tsoondoku



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Misunderstandings, Top Kim Jongin | Kai, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-25 21:53:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20919212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsoondoku/pseuds/tsoondoku
Summary: Kyungsoo tries not to think that his two year marriage with Jongin is crumbling, but it gets harder and harder when the scent of expensive perfume on his husband grows after each passing night.





	(there will only ever be) you

**Author's Note:**

> crossposted from aff

Kyungsoo picks up the dirty laundry his lazy ass husband left on the floor for the millionth time, even after Kyungsoo's told him a million and one times not to. He sighs as he empties each and every one of the pockets of Jongin's dress shirts and trousers, putting the loose change he finds on the kitchen counter next to the washing machine. He's pulling out a five dollar bill from one of Jongin's favorite dress shirts when his eyes land on a small stain, right below the collar of the shirt. Right below where Jongin's collarbones would be, should he be wearing it.

He pulls it closer to him, inspecting the red smudge. It looks a lot like— no. Of course not. It's probably tomato sauce or something. Jongin's a sloppy eater. Jongin gets stains all over his clothes when he eats. Jongin wouldn't cheat on Kyungsoo. Jongin's not a cheater... right?

Jongin comes home from work later that day to find their condo unit empty. On the fridge lies a yellow sticky note that says _Went to buy groceries! Be back at no less than 4_ and something that looks akin to a heart. Jongin wonders why there's only one and not three, like usual.

Of course, Kyungsoo doesn't go grocery shopping. Instead he walks to the park and counts his flaws.

Kyungsoo is abnormally short and pale, nothing like Jongin; who's tall and has beautiful sun-kissed skin. His lips are thick like they've been bitten by bugs and his thighs are fat. His stomach is flabby and he has child-like hands. He looks half his age, and he's so naive he'd believe someone if they had told him the sky was made of crayons. He mumbles in his sleep. He's a neat freak. He nags a lot. He's clumsy. He curses when he's surprised. He's not thin, or tall, or beautiful. He's not good enough for Jongin.

Kyungsoo wonders why Jongin would ever love him.

Then he wonders why Jongin hadn't started cheating on him earlier.

*

He makes his way home after crying for three hours and stopping to buy some milk at a mini market. It's half past nine when he reaches home, and he hopes with all his might Jongin is already dozing off.

However fate's plans are different and as soon as he's pulled his shoes off he's greeted by Jongin's life-sucking bear hug. 

“Where were you? You said you'd be back at four, the latest.” Jongin asks, hands cupping Kyungsoo's cheeks.

Kyungsoo smiles at his worried husband, silently chiding himself for ever doubting Jongin's love for him.

He pulls up the milk, “I went to get some milk, we ran out.”

“For more than four hours?” Jongin asks, confused.

Kyungsoo pauses at his question, afraid he's been caught. He decides to tell the truth.

Eyes at the floor, he answers, “Yeah... I went to the park first. Took a little walk.”

“Why didn't you wait up for me? We could've gone together. I was worried something happened.”

“Sorry,” he pecks Jongin's lips for forgiveness. “Did you wait long?”

“Nah, I just missed you.” Jongin replies, kneeing the between of Kyungsoo's legs.

Kyungsoo moans and drops the plastic he's holding. Then he puts his palms against Jongin's chest and tells him no. “You have work tomorrow, Jongin.”

“So... we'll be quick.” Jongin persuades.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo answers, giving in. “but we have to be done before ten.”

“Then you'll have to be super quiet, wouldn't want the neighbors complaining.” Jongin says, biting onto Kyungsoo's earlobe.

And he does. He takes Kyungsoo right then and there, fucking him raw against the wall. By the time they've finished, (at 9:58, with two minutes to spare) Kyungsoo is so sore his legs wobble and Jongin has to carry him bridal style to their bed (not that he's complaining though, he loves being Kyungsoo's knight in shining armor).

Right before Jongin passes out, he kisses Kyungsoo's forehead. “I love you,” he mumbles sleepily.

Kyungsoo falls asleep that night feeling stupid for thinking that Jongin would ever cheat on him. 

(He dreams of sour milk next to smelly shoes and wakes up the next morning realizing his dream came true)

*

He feels stupid again not long after, because Jongin starts coming home smelling like expensive perfume.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Jongin _is_ cheating on him.

He starts coming home late too, only ringing the doorbell to their shared apartment when dinner's gone cold.

On the night that marks three weeks of expensive perfume and cold dinner, Jongin doesn't come home at all. Instead he calls Kyungsoo to explain that he has a big project coming up, and that Kyungsoo shouldn't wait up, and if he's up to it then maybe he could put dinner in the microwave for Jongin to eat the next morning. He hums absentmindedly, giving the okay to Jongin, ignoring the giggles and whispers he hears over the other end of the line.

(He cries the next morning when he has to throw away last night's dinner because Jongin decides to shower at work, claiming he has a pair of extra clothes there just in case)

When Jongin finally comes home that night, he's torn between avoiding his husband to swallow down the questions he'll have to hold in his chest and clinging to him like glue because he's missed him so much. In the end, he opts on hugging him welcome back and heading straight to the kitchen to prepare dinner. He wonders if Jongin thinks they don't fit like two mismatched puzzle pieces, because maybe, that's how he felt when he barely returned the shorter's hug.

Kyungsoo doesn't realize that he never gave Jongin a chance to.

At the end of the month, Kyungsoo notices Jongin has stopped wearing his wedding ring. Kyungsoo starts sleeping the couch. What he doesn't notice though, is that Jongin doesn't smell of expensive perfume anymore.

He wakes up every morning in bed, thinking that maybe he should stop sleeping on the couch and start being less of a burden to Jongin who has to pick him up and carry him to their room every night.

*

Kyungsoo stops trying to start up a conversation with Jongin whatsoever when Jongin starts coming home less and less. He thinks_ this is it, this is the end of our marriage_. And he doesn't want to talk about anything with Jongin because he fears it might lead to the talk where they discuss breaking up, and who gets the house, and who gets more shares to the company, and he doesn't want to lose Jongin. Because Kyungsoo doesn't mind losing anything else. Anything but Jongin.

*

After two weeks Jongin starts wearing his wedding ring again. He comes home like usual too, sometimes even earlier. Kyungsoo notices this and tries to act normal, greeting him with hugs and kisses, but doesn't talk about the dramas he's watched or the books he's read during dinner anymore. He also denies them both of sex. He doesn't want to taint Jongin with his filth.

Jongin wonders what he did wrong.

All it takes is a week of silent dinners and half-hearted smiles. Jongin's curiosity swallows him whole and he can't hold in his questions anymore.

“Is something wrong?” He asks at dinner, breaking the ice.

Kyungsoo is silent for a moment and Jongin notices. He struggles to regain his composure, paints a smile on his face, and lifts his head towards Jongin. Jongin, his beautiful Jongin.

“No, why?” 

“You've been awfully quiet these past few months,” he plays with his food, “did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me?”

Kyungsoo looks down to the floor. He thinks he should be asking those exact questions to Jongin.

“No, it's just that I've been so tired these past few weeks.”

“You stopped making dessert.”

“Yeah... I got lazy.”

“You haven't wanted to have sex for a while now.”

“I'm just not up for it.” Kyungsoo replies, still refusing to look at Jongin. His cheeks hurt from smiling so hard just now.

“You've started lying to me, too.”

Kyungsoo looks up. Jongin is looking directly into his eyes and he knows he's caught. _This is the downfall,_ he thinks. _I'm going to lose Jongin._

He doesn't realize he's crying until Jongin stands up and walks with long strides across the table to him, hugging him. He wipes the tears on Kyungsoo's face when he's pulled back and Kyungsoo thinks he sees remorse in Jongin's eyes.

“You're crying.” he says, eyes soft. “Kyungsoo, baby, what's wrong?”

But Kyungsoo is silent because all he can think of is Jongin. Jongin calling someone else baby. Jongin holding someone else. Jongin letting someone else put their hands around his neck. Jongin, his beautiful Jongin, loving someone who isn't Kyungsoo.

He feels the tears build up again, and suddenly he's so, so tired. He's tired of the two second kisses, and he's tired of having to cry alone in the dark, and he's tired of pretending Jongin isn't cheating on him. He's mad at Jongin, he's angrier at himself, and he's so, so confused.

So he pushes Jongin away, (although not enough for him to stumble back) and sobs into his hands.

“Do you love me?” He asks.

“Kyungsoo, I–” He's taken aback from the question. He stands up and bends down to Kyungsoo. “Of course I love you. I love you with all my heart. What is this about?”

Kyungsoo takes Jongin's slight pause as hesitance and is overcome with rage. So he stands up and pushes Jongin back yet again.

“Liar!” he shouts.

“Kyungsoo, I'm not lyi–”

“Then why are you cheating on me?”

“Kyungsoo, I– what? No! Kyungsoo, I would never. I'm not cheating on you. Why would you even think such a thing?”

Kyungsoo's anger simmers down when he sees the hurt in Jongin's eyes. He's crying again.

“But you– A month ago you– I saw lipstick smudges on your shirt, and then you started coming home smelling like women's perfume, and then you stopped coming home altogether, and– ” his voice cracks, “Maybe you got bored of me, because I'm–” he hiccups, “–I'm not beautiful like you, and a lot of other people– and I just thought– Jongin, am I not good enough for you?” 

Kyungsoo surrenders into his hands again, he doesn't want Jongin to see how ugly he is when he's crying, doesn't want Jongin to hear how pathetic his sobs are right now.

Jongin is quick to envelop Kyungsoo into his arms, petting his raven hair and kissing the top of his head. Kyungsoo cries harder because he'll never be able to let go of the way Jongin embraces him with all the love in the world. His head starts to hurt because of all the tears, but his heart aches even more with the pain of holding all his feelings in.

“You're more than enough, Kyungsoo. You're more than enough for me.” Jongin whispers, breaking Kyungsoo's thoughts. “Okay?” He pulls back to look Kyungsoo in the eyes, and when Kyungsoo nods, he continues. “Don't you ever think less of yourself.” Kyungsoo nods again. 

Jongin leads Kyungsoo to the couch and, after leaning against the armrest, he settles Kyungsoo into his lap. He brings Kyungsoo back into his arms, resting his chin atop Kyungsoo's head. Kyungsoo misses intimate moments like these. Jongin misses them more.

Jongin breaks the ice. “I didn't want to tell you, but a few months back, one of my employees started hitting on me.” Kyungsoo starts to pull back, but Jongin hugs him tighter, rubbing his husband's back lovingly. “At first I thought she was a harmless flirt and would back off when she figured out I was gay, and married. But I was wrong. When she found out I was gay, she grew even more determined. Said she was going to make me straight, yadayadayada, all that bull. She started sneaking up on me and trying to kiss me–” He feels Kyungsoo going rigid in his grasp and quickly amends the situation, “–but she's never succeeded, okay?” He looks into Kyungsoo's eyes. “My lips are yours and yours only.” He pecks Kyungsoo briefly and pulls his flustered husband back to his chest. “But she's hugged me a lot, sorry.” 

  
Kyungsoo shakes his head in Jongin's embrace. “It's okay.” He squeaks out.

“Is it really?” Jongin teases, he knows it's not. Kyungsoo is so jealous.

“No, I hate her.” Kyungsoo replies, gripping onto Jongin's biceps.

Jongin laughs at his husband's cute jealousy, then continues. “But yeah, she did all that stuff. And I told her to stop or else I'd charge her for sexual harassment, seeing how I couldn't just fire her because that would be breaching contract. It got worse when she found out I was married. She threatened to tell you I was having an affair with her, which, you thought I was–” Jongin laughs when Kyungsoo hits his chest, “–okay, okay, to your credit I kinda did smell like girl perfume.”

“Women's perfume, I said women's perfume.” Kyungsoo corrects.

“Yeah, whatever, then she started stalking me, and I had to come home late to shake her off. I stopped coming home to crash at hotels because I didn't want her to find you.” He looks back at Kyungsoo. “In the end I charged her for sexual harassment and stalking, and I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry.” He smiles at Kyungsoo.

“I– okay.”

“Is there anything else bothering you? Anything more you want to ask about?”

“I... yeah. Um, I kinda, I've heard people– I mean, girls.. I've heard girls giggling and whispering on your end of a call.. more than once.”

“Yes that's because my staff are nosy dipshits and like to make kissy faces when we talk on the phone.” Jongin answers, pinching Kyungsoo's cheeks. “I don't think they're quite done making fun of me—their gay boss, so be prepared for more giggles and teases on my end of the call. Maybe I'll put you on loudspeaker so you can tell them off.”

Kyungsoo smiles dumbly, he loves when Jongin is like this.

“Anything else?” Jongin smiles, kissing the knuckles of Kyungsoo's left hand.

“One more. You kinda stopped wearing your wedding ring.. for seventeen days.”

Jongin smiles. “You counted?”

Kyungsoo looks down. “Yeah.”

Jongin lifts Kyungsoo's chin so they're looking at each other. They both miss having eye contact so much. “I had to go down to a construction site for a few– for seventeen days. Didn't want it to get dirty or lost.” Then he kisses Kyungsoo with all the love in his heart.

“You can ask me now.” Kyungsoo says when they've pulled apart, breathless.

Jongin hesitates for a second before nodding. “Okay, but don't cry.”

“No promises.” Kyungsoo replies.

Jongin knows he'll never win so he continues with what's been bothering him. “It's just.. Your kisses and hugs, they seemed kind of forced. Like you did them quick to get them done and over with. Then you stopped making dessert, and talking about all your favorite boybands, and you didn't want sex with me anymore.. I knew something was up. I thought I did something wrong. But you didn't tell me. And you just jumped to conclusions. And I don't want you to hurt yourself. Because you're so perfect but you're so insecure you don't see it. So next time, if anything's bothering you, tell me okay? I don't want you to get hurt.”

Kyungsoo feels the tears building up because he knows what he did wrong. “But I've hurt you, haven't I? With my doubts. You're hurt. I hurt you.”

“No, it's just, you left me out in the dark for a while, that's all.”

Kyungsoo starts crying again. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. It's just I thought there was someone else and I didn't wanna talk because I was scared you'd wanna split up and leave and I stopped making dessert because I thought you thought I was making you fat and I didn't want to have sex because I'm so dirty, I'm not beautiful like you, I didn't wanna taint you with my filth. I'm sorry I hurt you, I didn't mean to, you've done nothing but love me and I've done nothing but hurt you and– it's just– I was so afraid of losing you, the thought of–”

“Shhh, Kyungsoo, baby, it's okay. I'm not hurt, I was, but not anymore.” He tries his best at comforting Kyungsoo, knows he sucks at it but proceeds to pet Kyungsoo's hair again anyway. “There's no one else, and there'll never be. There's only you,” Jongin wipes Kyungsoo tears, “there will only ever be you.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo hiccups.

“And I'll never leave you.”

“Okay.”

“And I like that you're fattening me up with your dessert.”

Kyungsoo sniffles. “Okay.”

“And you're not dirty, you're perfect.”

Kyungsoo nods against Jongin's chest.

“But I hate when you cry.. not because you're ugly okay? But because you always wipe your snot everywhere and right now everywhere refers to the sweater you got for me when we were in college.”

Kyungsoo hits Jongin's chest again and he laughs. Both of them do.

“You too, okay? Tell me if something's bothering you? Hm?” Kyungsoo says after forever.

Jongin smiles. “Yeah, okay.”

“So..” Kyungsoo draws his fingers over Jongin's chest, “you're not having an affair?”

Jongin kisses the top of Kyungsoo's hair, inhaling his scent. “I am and his name is Kyungsoo but shhh,” Jongin looks to the left and right to no one in particular, “don't tell my husband because he'll go berserk.”

Jongin expects Kyungsoo to hit him again or laugh, so he's surprised when Kyungsoo leans up and kisses him hard. They both fall against the armrest, almost toppling over the sofa.

“Let's have sex. I need you.” Jongin breathes between kisses.

“Yes.” Kyungsoo pants, liking the idea. “Yes,” he says again, but this time because Jongin's latched his lips onto Kyungsoo's neck. “Carry me to the bed,” he breathes, reaching up to kiss his husband again and circling his legs around the taller's waist.

Jongin lifts Kyungsoo's ass up and carries him towards their shared bedroom blindly, lips never leaving Kyungsoo's and arms fondling his husband's bum. He stops by the toilet to knee the shorter male's growing erection, then he latches his lips onto his husband's neck, sucking hard.

Jongin's reached Kyungsoo's collarbones when Kyungsoo fumbles with his belt and tugs on his trousers, pulling his briefs down then proceeds on working on his own.

Jongin, turned on by the sight of Kyungsoo's naked erection, kisses the doe eyed male hard on the lips, sucking in his breath and his moans. He lifts him back in the air and carries him to their bedroom, bumping into a few more walls on their way there, their erections brushing.

He throws Kyungsoo on the bed and pulls his shirt over his head when they finally reach their destination, asking, “Make up sex?”

“Make up sex.” Kyungsoo agrees, eyes half opened and lust filled.

“Fast and hard?”

“And deep.”

“And rough?”

“And rough.” Kyungsoo nods, pulling Jongin to him. His hands make their way all over Jongin's flat stomach, then to his sturdy chest, feeling muscles. He cups Jongin's cheeks and kisses him hard, lip biting and teeth clashing. They swap saliva for a while until Jongin's pulling on Kyungsoo's shirt, annoyed by the damn cloth hiding his husband's beautiful skin.

He pulls it over Kyungsoo's head and throws it away carelessly, opting to take both their socks off to join it. Then the world is turning on its axis and Kyungsoo is on top of him, staring down right at him.

Kyungsoo starts out kissing his lips, then biting Jongin's bottom lip until its bleeding. Then he moves lower, sucking on Jongin's neck, biting, nibbling, marking his territory. “Mine,” he says, and Jongin breathes out “Yours,” to confirm him. Kyungsoo leans down to suck on his collarbones, then his nipples, biting into Jongin's skin and loving the discoloration he's created. He finally moves to Jongin's hipbone, biting on the flesh, then he kisses the tip of Jongin's naked erection.

“Fuck,” Jongin breathes out, he might not be able to take it any longer and come just by Kyungsoo's mouth.

Kyungsoo licks the shaft up to the tip before sucking on his cock, hands fondling Jongin's balls. He bobs his head up and down, and he can feel Jongin almost reach his peak, but Jongin pushes him off and rolls them over to dominate once again.

“Not yet,” he smirks, “I want to come inside you.”

Kyungsoo nods half heartedly, eyes hooded with lust and pulls Jongin down to kiss him. As soon as their lips attach Jongin pushes his tongue into Kyungsoo's mouth, tasting his husband. Kyungsoo sucks on Jongin's thick muscle hard, palming Jongin's erection. Jongin moans and disconnects, hearing Kyungsoo's whimpers of “Need you now,”

“Prep?” He asks.

“Two fingers.” Kyungsoo replies, reaching for the lube in their drawers. Once it's in his hand Jongin snatches it, coats his fingers with enough lubrication and pulls Kyungsoo's cheeks apart to make way for his slender fingers. Kyungsoo doesn't feel any pain at first, not until Jongin adds the second finger and starts scissoring. He starts whining because it's not enough, nothing near the real deal, and he needs Jongin. So he pushes Jongin's hands off, whining again, “no more..”

Jongin gets the message and proceeds to lube his aching cock, lining it up to Kyungsoo's ass. “I'm not going to be gentle,” is all the warning Kyungsoo gets before he's surging forward, hard. 

“Tight.. still tight.” Jongin grits, but doesn't slow down.

Kyungsoo sees stars at the intrusion, ignoring the pain because this is all he's ever wanted— Jongin and him, connected. And he feels so full, and he loves Jongin so much, and fuck, Jongin needs to go faster.

“Faster,” Kyungsoo pants, hands gliding up Jongin's back and gripping his shoulders.

Jongin obliges. When Kyungsoo screams he knows he's hit his prostate, and he angles his hips so he hits it dead on, harder and harder. Jongin fucks Kyungsoo open faster, harder, deeper, rougher because that's what they agreed on, and that's all they need to wash away each other's doubts about being unfaithful or pushing the other away. 

Jongin knows Kyungsoo's close after more pounding, and he is too, so he grips Kyungsoo's cock.

“Jongin!” Kyungsoo screams, losing his breath, voice cracking. “Jongin,” he pumps faster, harder. “Jongin, Jongin I'm close Jongin Jongin JONGIN!” Kyungsoo comes hard, spurts of white painting both of the males stomachs. Jongin pumps him as he rides off his orgasm, squeezing his cocking to completely milk out anything left of Kyungsoo. He settles his forehead onto Kyungsoo's collarbones. “Mine,” he whispers.

He lets go to focus on his own bliss, ramming into Kyungsoo with force he's never known he's had. Hips stuttering, pounds going sloppy, and after five, six, seven more thrusts he gives in to the clenching of Kyungsoo's hole and squirts his seeds into Kyungsoo.

He looks down to his sated lover, eyes closed and lips swollen. “I love you,” he says, kissing Kyungsoo's forehead with the warmth of love. He swallows up the image of Kyungsoo's chest rising and falling, the marks and hickeys all over his body, and his disheveled hair before crashing down and enveloping Kyungsoo into his bone-crushing hug.

All he can think about is Kyungsoo, his beautiful Kyungsoo.

**Author's Note:**

> congrats if you made it this far ig?? come talk to me on twitter @_chibimori bc i'm lonely and need friends


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